Duel In Darkness- Ch. 1

Renew_Crisis · 04-26-2007, 08:09 PM

Prologue:
http://http://www.pojo.biz/board/sho...d.php?t=421262

Once again, I am taking requests to be in this fic, just pm me w/ your deck and strategy and you will be in [eventually] here's ch.1. enjoy

oh, btw, "Kou," is pronounced- Koh. Also, the first few chapters are sorta short, i know.

Chapter One- Genesis

"Hey, hurry up over there!" It was a brillliantly sunny day, with not a single cloud in sight. A young man, about 17 with dark brown hair, sat dazed on a park bench as children and teenagers alike passed him by. Again, the voice.
"Kou, over here, check it out!"
"oh, wha--" Kou snapped to alertness as he heard the voice of his friend a second time. "Oh, my bad, Ren, I must've zoned out for a minute there, this heat really gets to you!" Kou was average height, about 5'8 with a lanky figure. He wore skinny, dark blue jeans with a metal pyramid-studded belt and a black t-shirt. His friend, Ren, was dressed in similar attire, but had blonde hair and a black and white belt.
"Yea, don't worry about it man, check this out"-- Ren said as he reached excitedly into his backpack and pulled out a small, crimson colored box. "Deck?" Kou inquired as he focused his attention on the rectangular box.
"You know it, but the thing I wanted to show you is this new card I just got." Ren replied as he shuffled through his cards eagerly. "Ah, here it is-- 'Giant Soldier of Stone': 1300 ATK, 2000 DEF."
"Hah, lucky you! A Giant Soldier...that's a pretty rare find these days, at least until some new sets come out." Kou remarked while fixing his gaze intently on the card. "That will help protect you from most local duelists...there aren't many people around here with monsters that have higher than 2000 attack points."
"I know, that's why I'm sorta excited about it, I finally have a card that can get me through a tournament!" Ren exclaimed.
"Well, there's more to it than that, Ren. One monster card isn't going to save you from the spell and trap cards out there."
"Yea, I know, but--"
"Just forget about it." Kou interjected as he took a quick glance at his watch, then peered into the sky at the massive city that hovered high above them. "We can still make it on time if you hurry up."
"Hurry?--Make it to what?" Ren replied, confused with what had just happened.
"Is your deck ready? There's a tournament happening today up in Adro City, and it's just about to start." Kou said without waiting for a response, and he gathered his things to leave.
"Oh, right- yea, my deck is ready, let's go!" Ren replied exuberantly; the two of them gathered their things up and headed toward the city plaza, the easiest way to get to Adro City. Thy entered the bustling plaza within minutes- it wasn't far from the park they had been in just moments ago. The plaza was the main center of events in Verta City, and thusly was crowded and overly noisy. "It's been a while since I've been to Adro...how big is this tourney going to be?" Ren asked as his eyes wandered around the plaza, taking in all the energy of the scene.
"It's a dual city tournament- a competition between Verta and Adro...it's bound to be big." Kou replied. "Umm, over here," said Kou,"the trans-city elevator is over here...I think." he said hesitantly, pushing his way through the mills of people with Ren following suit.
"Oh, yea, there it is Kou, let's get over there!" Ren said as he pointed excitedly toward a massive, clear, crystalline elevator not far from their position. The both of them trotted over and entered, pressing a small white button on the inside that said, "Adro." In moments they would be in the biggest sky city in the area, participating in one of the largest scale tourney of the area...but for now, they listened to elevator music.

To be continued in Chapter Two- A Prodigy Emerges...

Hoitash · 04-26-2007, 08:30 PM

Promising, very promising. They really don't like it when you double psot fics, but since there was a sever overload a bit back that was probably the reason. They'll hopefully just lock the one with the fewest posts.

Renew_Crisis · 04-26-2007, 08:36 PM

thx. yah, idk why it double posted, i was typing & then it just happened. so that's lame. but yah, glad you like it :]

Kane Draco · 04-26-2007, 08:56 PM

I like it, but, perhaps you could make it a bit longer. The current limit for how short your chapters can be is one page in word, using 12 point font.

Renew_Crisis · 04-26-2007, 09:22 PM

Well, it's over a page in word, but i use double spacing...
and i was really running short on time while posting this, [on psp now],
so i decided to cut ch. 1 short and now ch. 2 has part of what was originally ch. 1 in it. if that makes sense. I'm writing the rough for ch. 2 right now, and it is considerably longer. I just wanted to get this part up here today to see if anyone likes it. Ch. 2 will be up tmrw, if i get the chance, or saturday.

Hoitash · 04-26-2007, 09:46 PM

patience is part of the Jedi way. Take the time to space yuor paragraphs, detail your duel, read my fic, get more decks pmed to you, read my fic, and also get plenty of sleep, if your so tired you can't see straight it's really hard to type. Trust me on that

Renew_Crisis · 04-26-2007, 09:54 PM

lol. i have patience, i just wanted feedback before i start getting into hella long chapters. and my paragraphs are spaced in edit mode, but its not showing up like that...
as for detail in the duels & whatnot. dont worry about it, i've got it covered :]
your fic is in your sig, right?

DPRaven · 04-27-2007, 03:34 AM

Interesting, I'll PM you my character and deck.