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Old 11-29-2012, 03:54 AM   #1
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Default The Cray Wars

Okay, ive been working on a new idea of how to use Cardfight in a Fanfiction. Has anyone seen Fate/ Stay Night? I basically got the idea from that series, although it is a tad different. I'll give a short summary i suppose. It's about a war that takes place in the real world when Cray begins fighting for a new leader. To avoid the bloodshed, they have the humans fight for them, To that effect, there are 22 special cards, 1 for each clan, that is marked with a red vanguard circle in the background, After a set amount of time, whoever holds those cards are participants, and have to defeat the others. by either killing them, stealing their card, or having them swear loyalty to you. This story follows multiple people with different personalities, so everyone can either root for their favorite clan or whoever they like most

Feel free to leave any reviews at any time, comment, or whatever you wanna do. enjoy!

-Los Angeles, California-

“The Cray Wars?” The Girl asked, looking at her father like she was crazy. She stared at both him and the two friends next to her, with their dads present. To the Right was Cecilia, the beautiful woman with the scarlet red hair adorned with a rose, and lovely green dress. To her left was Lilith: Clad in black and dressed to kill (with her looks). She felt sort of diminished between these two, with her average brown hair and figure... but she didn't really have time to think about that: Her father had just said something weird.

“You've heard of the Popular Cardfight, Vanguard game... of course you all have. You play it constantly.” Lilith’s dad said. “Well... what if we told you it wasn't just a card game? What if there was really a planer Cray?”

“I would laugh at you.” Lilith said, and her the three fathers laugh.

“Fortunately, we're not insane.” Came Cecilia's dad on the laugh. “Tre really is a Planet Cray. Every so often they have a little... competition, shall we say? The choose Avatars in this world, and those avatars compete to see which clan among them has the right to rule. As for the human, whoever wins is set for life with riches and land until they die. Sounds pretty good, no?”

“I'll admit, it sounds a bit like a fairy tale.” Cecilia said, addressing her father.

“Ah, but it's not.” Came the father of the girl in the middle, Alicia. He walked over to table, where a black mahogany box stood, and picked it up, opening it. Therein lie what looked like a typical cardfight card, and one Alicia recognized, for she used that card often: Covert Demonic Dragon, Magatsu Storm. However, Alicia noticed a strange difference- in the background was what looed like a vanguard circle, only it was painted a dark red. She was certain that wasn't an alternate Card art. “What is that Mark, Father?”

“Ah, so you noticed it, already! That mark means this is very, very special- it marks that this card is the avatar for the clan... call it a companion to whoever is fighting in the war. During the war, whenever you go into combat... well, we''ll let you see that for yourselves later. All thats needed to know right now is that every clan with ONE card like this, and the holder of this card is a participant.” Alicia's dad tried to explain

“Whoever holds an ' Avatar card' like this one...” Cecilia's dad said, pulling out a card with a similar mark on it:L White Lilly Musketeer, Cecilia. “- when the time comes will enter for this chance, it doesn't matter who it is.” He said, walking over and handing the card to his daughter. “It's your turn to fight as our children... for the honor of your families, and the rights to a life of riches.”

“Hold on, you just SPRING this on us?” Lilith said, getting a little angry as her dad handed her Alluring Succubus. “Why didn't you guys tell us “ANY of this?”

“Because we didn't know the war was taking place so soon.” Her dad explained. “As it was explained to us when we fought, this happens at random times, when the clans start disagreeing. We thought you three wouldn't be in it. When the red marks appear on the cards like that, it means the war will be starting in exactly one month... which means you have thirty days from now to prepare.””

“How do you win this game?” Alicia asked

“There are four ways to take an opponent out of the game. “You can either kill them. Take their card,, or destroy their crest, which you will understand later, or have them swear loyalty and hand you their weapon. The last one is ideal, as they have to fight along side you, but killing or stealing the card is more common.”

“That's... intense.” Alicia said

“Ya... you aren't kidding.” Cecilia said. “SO you expect us to fight each other?”

“No, we don't.” Ceclia’s dad said. “We thre formed an alliance and hung on until almost the very end, so we didn't fight each oter. We want you three to cooperate, and try and win amongst yourselfs.”

“But only one can win.” Lilith said “That doesn't seem very alliance worthy.”
“But you can split the riches.” Her dad said “That's what we're hoping for.”

“I guess … we can try it, right?” Alicia said. “It sounds like this is really important to you, father.

“ Sadly, I lost in the last war... maybe you can... no, you WILL do better than me.” Her dad said.

“Then ill do it.” Alicia said, and her dad smiled.

“Well, I guess if Alicia's okay with in, I’m in.” Cecila said.]

“...sure, whatever.”

“Great, let's begin going over the details, shall we?”


-Vanguard Academy, Miami, Florida-

“ Other clans cannot rise to the power. Those who consider such weak clans like Nubatama to be powerful will never amount to anything. Meta is all that will ever matter. Kagero! Oracle Think Tank! Gold Paladin! These are the clans will forever shine!” Shouted the teacher frantically, drawing circles around cards of clans that were acceptable, and was striking bed red x's over the unacceptable ones. “And yet some of you STILL hasn't learned this fact as of yet.” The Teacher, Cain Underwood said. He reached into his briefcase, picked up a paper, and slammed in on the table, causing the students to jump. “Ryan Leonheart!”

The man in black row stood up as his name was called, and the teacher threw a piece o chalk at him, which he caught. “Begin writing the formulas of Amaterasu's trigger checking probabilities.” The man shrug, and stepped down to begin following his orders.

“This idiot wrote his essay on how weaker clans can outshine other clans as ong as the deck is one that connects with the user, and is supported well.” He said, holding up Ryan's essay, and tore it up. “This is GARBAGE! Good, you're done. Get out of here for the day!”

Ryan shrugged and with a 'whatever you say' walked up the stairs and out the door.

As he walked out, he pounded t he wall. “The NERVE of that idiot.” He said, and began walking down that hall. “I mean sure, those decks are weaker, but I think with a proper brain and a feeling of connection with the deck, anything is possible... is that so wrong?” He thought to himself as he continued walking a little upset.

There was a man walking, dressed in a UPS uniform... however, he sfell as the janitor nearby turned around, smacking his legs with a mob by accident, and the man fell.

Tyler walked over to the man, helping him get his package, looking at who it was for. “Cain Underwood? I can give this to him as I was just about to head back.”

“Oh, thank you very much.” The man said, and turned around .

As soon as the ups man was out of sight, Tyler gave a mischievous smile, making a quick dash into the library. Making sure he was alone and with a desk facing the entrance, he cut the wrappings and opened the wooden box... “A vanguard card?” He thought to himself, taking out a Silent Tom card, and examined it- noticing the red circle in the background. “Now why would Teacher order a card like this... wait a second, could those rumors be-”

He got up and began scanning the books, finding the one he needed. It was a fiction book labeled' The Cray Wars.' “There's been rumors of this book actually being true...and that it was coming up and Mr. Underwood was participating... if I could find proof... here we go: 'the card of participation will be marked with red a month before the fight begins... the rumors began about 2 weeks ago, so assuming that's true... hmm... the mark on here fits the one on the card...”

Tyler gave a laugh, which earned him a 'shush' from the librarian. “So this war is the real deal, huh... thank you very much for kicking me out, Mr. Underwood!' In the box was a folded piece of paper, which read 'Los Angeles, California.”

“That must be the battlefield.” He said, nodding to himself. “Well, I guess Im going to go to California! Thanks again teacher!” He said, walking out of the school, laughing the entire way.

-Vancouver, Washington-

I'm sorry we can't do much else for you.” The old man said to the kneeling woman, the colorful stained glass of the church reflecting off her face. Beautiful blond hair and piercing blue eyes, cloaked in a dark blue dress. The old man took out a box, and presented her with it- the card with a red circle. “After your father died, his assistant managed to grab the card before it fell into the enemies hands and brought it to me for safekeeping.... I can not do more for you than to give you a chance at redemption, so take it. The Avatar of the Royal Paladins, Blaster Blade, will lead you to glory.”

“Thank you, Grandfather.” The woman said, standing up and taking the card. “You've taken care of me ever since I was a little girl, when Dad died thanks to the last war... I can't thank you enough.”

“The pleasure was all mine. I've seen you grow over the years, getting stronger in preparation for this day... It has been three weeks since the red circle appeared, so the war will begin in a week... I have faith in you. Angela.... come back to your old grandfather alive.”

Angela hugged her Grandfather warmly. “I love you so much... I'm going to win this, both for you and for Dad.”

Grandfather nodded sadly. “I've got your airport tickets and a reservation at the hotel you'll be staying in here.... take good care of yourself.”

With a nod and a kiss on the forehead, Angela walked out of the church and around back to grab her stuff. Clothes, a tuxedo tailored for a woman, and other things we should need, leaving behind the kendo shinai and practice swords she had trained with until this day behind- there would be no bringing them on a plane.”

a Taxi was waiting for he, and she drove to the airport, and passed the check easily, getting aboard the plane.

“The Cray Wars killed my father...” She thought to herself. “And mother took herself out of suicide... this war stripped my world away from me with one blow.” She said bitterly to herself. “So I’m entering that same war to avenge my parents... that will drive me to victory: of that there is no doubt.” She said, nodding to herself, and the plane rushed off to take her to her destiny. She would win... she HAD to win.

“Are you nervous, Selene?” Came a voice from behind her, and the light blue haired beauty turned to face her manager. “The War Officially starts tonight... can you balance both your career and this fight?”

“Of course I can, silly!” Selene said with a laugh as she overlooked Los Angeles from the penthouse suite: the view as just BREATHTAKING. “It's fortunate you were able to get a movie gig for us here in LA.”

“I do my best.” The manager said. “Remember: you must be careful. These fights are preformed in secrecy, so you can't expose yourself on tv.”

“I know, I know. I'll do my best and win s the gold!” She said, smiling as she did. “I'll do whatever it takes, be it kill or steal for this chance!”

“That's the spirit. I'm sure you'll do just fine... it's time. Raise your card to the light of the moon.”

The up and coming idol nodded enthusiastically. Holding Top Idol, Pacifia to the moon, a vanguard circle appeared below her, and she shone with a blue light. He clothes sparkled and changed to a lovely peach dress, and her left eye changed color. 'Well hey there, Beautiful! I guess you're to be my wielder this time around!”

“Oh, hello there!” Selene answered in her head. “So I guess you're my companion!”

“”You betcha! I'm Pacifica! It's nice to meet you!”

“It's nice to meet you too!” Selene said. “Let's have fun and go kill stuff together and be awesome!”

“Run Run, Run away!” He shouted, running as fast as he could like Death was at his heels... and it was. This was Sirius' worse day ever. First he gets kicked out of his apartment, then he's suddenly wearing blue spandex with red undies. Then he starts hearing voices in his telling him that He's Mr. Invincible, then someone shows up and tries to KILL him.” He jumped, lightning hitting the spot where he just was.

“HaHA, Narukami moves fast!” The incredibly irritating voice in his head said. “You better stop running and fight or he's going to kill you! HAHAHAHA”

“How is that funny, voice!” Sirius asked, leaping down two flights of stairs like it was nothing and turning a corner. “I have no interest in This Cray War bull****. Why should I fight! What's in it for me?!”

“Well, the winner gets enough riches to last him a lifetime! HAHAHAHA!”

Whatever had kept Sirius from fighting snapped, and he turned on his heel to face Vermillion, the man who was wearing dragon wings and raining lighting down on him. “ You are so going down!” He said, moving even master and jumped, aiming a kick at the dragon, who dodged and fired a bolt of lightning,, which Sirius flip to dodge. “Is that all you got! I was the CHAMPION of mixed martial arts!” He said, charging and kicking the Narukami rep in the chest, knocking him to the ground. “ So what do we have to do, Invincible?”

“You can kill him, make him surrender, or break that little red circle on his armor... right over there, you see it?

He did see it, there, on the shoulder of the armor, was a red circle much like the one on the Mr. Invincible card he had picked up earlier. “So I just have to break that huh? No problem!”

He never got the chance, as a bolt of lightning struck the fallen Narukami, doubtless electrocuting him as his entire body jumped, and he was smoking slightly.

Behind him was a woman in black armor, streaked with blue lines. He didn't have time to think, as a bolt was racing towards HIM! He rolled out of thw way, avoiding the bolt just barely. “Oi! At least SAY you're there!” Heesaid, charging at the woman, but the assault was blocked, and electricity knocked him back. It was a woman, he could tell, and she gave a slight smile.

That smile didn't seem to last long, as she sensed danger and jumped back. A sword landed and body landed were her head had been


“I'm impressed. It seems my soul feel into capable hands.” Blaster Blade said as Angela landed and readied herself to attack the Shadow Paladin representative.

“I try.” Angela anwsered, twilrling her two handed sword no problem, and clashing with the night. Blue electricity clashed against black lightning, the clashes equaling. But Alicia already had advantage: She had been sword training in all types since she was a little girl, and she was already going in, sword raised to deal out some damage. The Nova Grappler unit was still... it seemed he didn't know what was going on, and Angela had taken a little pity on him for that.

Blaster Dark was no slacker either. She, for it was a girl, was giving as good as Angela was, and they equaled out again. Angela recovered first, landing a gash on her armor, that coupled with the energy blew her back She gaped, feeling the gash, and quickly vanished.

Angela nodded. “That numbed her... she was right to run... hold, Nova Grappler representative.” She said, as she sensed an assault. The man stopped Angela closed her eyes, her white armor vanishing. “Let's have a little chat, shall we?”
"-and here's another kiss, to tainted bliss, a toast to empty promise. With future pretending, and love as our ending, we fall by the light of the moon."
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Old 11-29-2012, 12:09 PM   #2
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Okay so a few things. 1. I think you should remove the whole killing thing. It's not very Vanguard-like. 2. You said it was supposed to be a world-wide event yet the 3 places you've mentioned were all in the states. At least make it a North American-Wide event (I.e add in Canada and Mexico). 3. Spell check and grammar check.

Also you use "Came the <person> of..." quite a bit. It helps to not use the same terms over again. Just some food for thought.

The idea has potential though. I think that maybe it should just be people using there avatars in battle and the winner takes the card/Some type of crest to symbolize victory (So like in Yugioh they had the Stars at Duelist Kingdom and the Locator cards in Battle city or whatever it was called) Or an easier way to look at it, is like Pokemon. Commanding your avatar to battle and the winner takes the others "Badge".
Vanguard Main Deck(s):
Gear Chronicle
Royal Paladin Jewel Knights
Gold Paladin Ezel

"Retired" Deck(s) Pale Moon Sarah Tamers

"I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven"
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