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bountyhunterbebop
01-26-2004, 02:01 PM
I started this on the other board, but i'm re-posting chapt. 1 cuz I only got 1 reply. chapt 2 will be up in a day or so.



ANIMA SWORD
By Andrew Hodge
Chapter 01: Let the rivalry begin
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An eighteen year old boy looking walked slowly down the dirt road that lye in front of him. He was bearing a sword along his back. He wore a white tee shirt covered by a blue checkered unbuttoned flannel shirt, as well as blue jeans.

The boy walked down the street slowly. He showed much fatigue on his face. His sweat beaded down his head as he approached a market. His eyes grew bigger, and his pace picked up.

He entered the market. The owner of the market heard the boy enter, so he went up front to see who it was. When the owner got up front, he saw the boy, young in age, flooding his pouch with apples and oranges and g***** and all kinds of other fruits.

"Hey you, what the hell do you think your doing?" asked the man. He whistled.

A group of security guards hurried to the scene. The boy sealed up his pouch. As he turned to face the owner and his chronies, he pulled the sword from its sleeve along his back. He rested it on his shoulder until all of the security guards arrived.

"Its show time," said the boy. He picked the sword up from his shoulder and leaped ferociously into the air.

He came down and swiped the sword. The owners wig was knocked off of his head. "Why I ought of!" said the owner.

"Get him," demanded the store owner. The guards ran for him. The boy swiped the sword at two of the guards' legs running side by side. This made the guards' do a front flip into the rack of banana's. Both of their heads hit each other in mid-air as they both went crashing to the floor.

One more guard remained. He stared down the boy as the store owner searched the floor for his wig. The guard pulled out a gun. He went to <pojo ownz><pojo ownz><pojo ownz><pojo ownz> it. The boy swung the sword and knocked the gun out of the mans' hand. It also removed one of the fingers on the mans' hand: his ring finger.

"Ahh, you little maggot. You cut off my…" the man couldn't finish. The side of the sword hit him in the head, not stabbing him, but knocking him to his knees. The man began to mumble.

"Ahh, who are you?" he asked. The boy began to walk out of the store. "Come back here kid," said the guard.

The boy turned. "I am Kamui Shinobi. That's all you need to know," said the boy. The man sat on his knees confused at how a young man had taken them(security guards) down.

"Don't worry little man, we'll meet again, I guarantee it," said the guard. He slowly got to his feet. He looked to the other two guards. They were moving very slowly.

"Get the hell up!" yelled the guard already standing. The other two scrambled to get to their feet. The owner of the store stood staring at the remaining stock. "All of that fruit gone," said the man. Then he sighed and walked to the back.

Kamui walked down the dirt road eating an orange. "Man, this is good stuff," he said to himself. He stuffed another orange slice in his mouth. He juice began to run down his chin, but he stuck his tongue out of his mouth and licked it all up.

Without knowing it, Kamui entered a forest. The light didn't change dramatically, so with his face in his bag of fruits there was no way for him to know. He continued to walk deeper and deeper into the forest.

"Well, that finishes my fruit intake for the day. Now, where are we?" Kamui wondered as he wiped the extra orange juice that he could not tongue back into his mouth with his hand. He came to a halt. "Man, I wondered off this far?" he asked himself.

"A little too far if you ask me," said a voice. Kamui jumped. He pulled the sword from the sleeve it rested in along his back. He was ready for any opposition.
The man saying the words jumped out of a long, thick tree branch and landed on the ground. "Who do you think you are entering my forest at will maggot?" asked the man. He stood a good six and a half feet tall, compared to the six-foot even height of Kamui.

"What is it with everyone calling me maggot today?" asked Kamui with a laugh to follow.

The man whipped out a sword from on his back. He stuck the point of the sword to Kamui's throat. Kamui backed off a little bit, but other than that stood his ground with the heavy steel pointed to him.
"This is not the time for joking. If you want to joke, you will die quickly. If you take this seriously, you will be a worthy foe, but will die just like the rest," said the man. He let out a hard laugh.

"Who are you to be so <pojo ownz><pojo ownz><pojo ownz><pojo ownz>y and sure?" asked Kamui. Now he had a look of solid seriousness. Nothing could break this.

"My name is Tomoi. I am a spirit fighter." Kamui nodded in acceptance. "Well, now that I know your name, tell me your business with me, if you have any," said Kamui.

Tomoi began to laugh. "Is it really that funny?" Kamui questioned.

"You really think you will get any information out of me?" Tomoi questioned with much laughter.

A little grin came to Kamui's face. He picked up his sword. "If you expect to live." At that instant Kamui's body launched into the air, sword up over his head. On his way down, he brought the sword slashing down in Tomoi's direction.

His sword met Tomoi's sword as he came down to the ground. "Its nice to know that I'm going against a weapon that I have mastered during my lifetime," Kamui spoke.

He pushed Tomoi's sword away with his sword, and brought it back slashing down at Tomoi. Tomoi ducked and rolled to be located behind Kamui. He then attempted to stab Kamui. Kamui sensed this attempt. His body then went hurling in the air, doing a back flip. His body landed behind Tomoi. Tomoi was prepared to turn until Kamui put the side of his sword to Tomoi's neck.

"Well, would you currently be prepared to share your business with me?" asked Kamui. "Yes, I surrender," Tomoi spoke.

Kamui did not know whether to believe him or not. Tomoi dropped his sword to the ground, getting Kamui to buy the surrender. Kamui pulled his sword from over Tomoi's head and let him stand. Tomoi turned and let out an evil laugh.

Kamui knew he had been duped. Tomoi kicked at Kamui's hand. The sword went flying high into the air. Tomoi and Kamui both leaped to get the sword. Their eyes met as they both leaped for the sword. They both were determined to defeat the other. They both had the thirst for victory, and killing in necessary.
In the end, Tomoi's longer arm reach awarded him current possession of the sword. They both flowed back down to the ground, falling away from each other as they fell, as if they were repelling each other.

"Well, here's your precious sword. How does it feel to know that you will die at the hands of your own steel?" Tomoi asked laughingly. Kamui began to laugh. Tomoi stopped laughing. The look on his face grew serious. He looked down to his hand. It felt as if his hand was on fire. The sword was glowing in his hand. Tomoi tried his hardest to keep a hold on his sword, but the heat was unbearable. He released his grip on the sword, and it flew into Kamui's grip.

Once the sword came into Kamui's grip, a blue aura formed around his body. He slowly began to walk to Tomoi who was sitting on one knee. "Tomoi; the 'invincible' Tomoi. Look at you now," Kamui spoke. Tomoi stood in anger. "I'm not gonna let this punk talk to me like that," Tomoi thought to himself. He began to charge at Kamui. Kamui looked surprised.

"How much common sense does this guy lack?" Kamui thought to himself. A swift swing of his sword aimed at Tomoi's legs flipped Tomoi into mid-air. Tomoi soon came crashing down to the ground.

Tomoi landed on his back, knocking the breath out of him momentarily. In that moment, Kamui walked over to him. As he regained his breath and sight, he saw that Kamui was hovering over him holding a sword to his throat.

"Ready to share your business now buddy?" asked Kamui. Tomoi lay silent on the ground. "Share or die, your choice," said Kamui. Tomoi sighed.

"OK. I was not sent here by anyone, but I was in a way challenged," told Tomoi. Kamui had a look of confusion on his face. "Go on."

"Well, Emperor Tomohito gathered all of the civilians of Sonai at his castle and told them of a new bounty. This bounty is so extraordinary that not even the weakest of the children of the village could resist," Tomoi continued. "This bounty was placed on your head, and I simply chased this bounty," spoke Tomoi.

Kamui looked amazed. "My head? The emperor doesn't even know who I am!" declared Kamui angrily.

"This may be true, but his father knew your father. He told me a story, me because I am the strongest warrior of the village, about the way your fathers had feuded in the past. Then, he told me of how your father had killed his father in a long gruesome battle," Tomoi spoke.

"So I have a bounty because of my fathers good judgment?" asked Kamui. Tomoi grew angry.

"How dare you speak of the elder emperor that way!" he declared. Kamui eased the sword closer to Tomoi's throat. Tomoi choked his words.

"My father killed him for the good of the village. He was killing people at will, and for no reason. He used weak villages on the outskirts of ours as simulated war grounds. He sent our villages troops in and they wiped out the civilians just for practice," a tear came to Kamui's eye as he pulled the sword from Tomoi's throat.

"Tell the emperor that I am prepared to take on any challenge he sends my way," spoke Kamui. He turned and walked away.

Tomoi sat up, happy to be alive. "You may have won this round, Kamui Shinobi, but this is just a battle in the war between you and I. We will meet again, and I will pummel you until there is no life remaining in you," Tomoi thought to himself.

Kamui was deep in thought as he walked away from the battle sight. "A bounty on my head? I am the most wanted man of the village, and yet I feel no fear. I feel great. That jolt of energy that the sword gave me has me feeling like I can do anything I that I please. There is something mysterious about this sword, and I feel that I will soon discover that mystery" thought Kamui to himself, staring at the sword. He pulled his head from the sword, and continued on.

bountyhunterbebop
01-27-2004, 01:57 PM
Any opinions are appreciated.

[COLOR=Blue]They gettin nice, they got sum ice, lets get the dice and.......GET EM GIRLS

Dirk Amoeba
01-27-2004, 04:31 PM
Patience, man! You gotta give it some time! My repost of my first fic got no replies until just today, and I posted it yesterday. Anyway....

While this fic is very good, it also needs some work. I advise that you read Advice for Aspiring Authors. (http://www.pojo.biz/board/showthread.php?t=459) This has helped many authors before you, and will probably continue to do so for as long as fanfics are written.

One thing you need help with is punctuation. If you go to the topic I linked to above, and go to the second page, you will find my own punctuation tutorial. It should help you a lot.

Other than that, this story has a decent plot, and it is action-packed. I'll look for more of this in the near future!

bountyhunterbebop
01-28-2004, 01:49 AM
Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I am an impatient person, sorry bout that :p

Shining Celebi
01-28-2004, 04:03 AM
Looks good, I await chapter 2. :p

bountyhunterbebop
01-29-2004, 09:44 AM
My friend told me that this chapter was boring, but he's not the smartest person in the world. :p

ANIMA SWORD
Chapter 02: The friend and the foe
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Kamui felt no fear as he headed to the urban part of the desert village. Inside of him, having the bounty on his head was this sense of wildness. "I'm a wanted man," he ran over and over through his head. It was time; Kamui was entering the city.

He just walked right into the town. "I did nothing; why should I suffer and live that life," he thought. Then inside he felt a sense of dare. As Kamui walked, everyone stared at him, but no one did anything. He usually came to the city to go to the tavern, and that's where the bounty hunter type usually hung out.

Kamui pushed open the swinging doors to the tavern. Everyone looked to see whom it was. The owner of the bar was a dear friend of Kamui's. "Its his bar, he'll surely help me if they try to attack me. Or do I need help?" Kamui asked himself, staring at the sword. Kamui walked in and sat at a barstool like it was nothing.

"I'll have coke & rum on the rocks," Kamui declared. The bounty hunters were amazed. They all thought, "Is this guy dumb? Does he not know if he has a bounty on his head?". One of them stood up and loaded his revolver up. Kamui continued to act like he did nothing towards the men, and he didn't. He would suffer for his fathers' actions. That's just the way it had to be. The man came up and taped Kamui on the shoulder. Kamui choked on his drink as he turned around. A revolver was pointed to his face.

"Boy, do you know what's going on?" asked the man. "Yes I know what's going on. Why do you want to know?" asked Kamui.

"Well, there's kind of a bounty on your head, and believe it or not, I'm here to kill you," the man spoke. Kamui giggled.

"I'll let you make the decision: dead or alive and wounded," the man treaded with laughter after saying this.

Kamui had enough already. He kicked the revolver out of the mans hand. He fell back a little. He gripped his wrist. It had been broken by Kamui's kick. "You little," the man did not finish. Kamui interrupted.

"Maggot?" Kamui asked. He laughed lightly after saying it. "I, WILL, KILL YOU!" the man yelled. He charged Kamui with his fists roaring. Kamui laughed and pulled out his sword. The man weighed so much that he had no chance of stopping himself from charging right into Kamui. As he neared, Kamui took the cold steel and shoved it right through the mans throat. He pushed it through as far as it could go. The mans eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Kamui then pulled the sword out in an instant. "How about we make a combo? All of your blood!" Kamui's voice deepened as he tilted his head down. The men were scared frozen. "Our leader is dead; we surely cant stand a chance," was the spirit flowing through the group of bounty hunters.

One of them walked to the front of the crowd. "We're not scared of you Kamui Shinobi," he said. He was another short and fat man, just like the one Kamui killed.

"What is this, the short and fat man convention?" asked Kamui giggling. The men just ignored the smart remark. "Lets get him boys," yelled the man. Everyone yelled yeah and pulled out their revolvers.

Kamui's sword began to glow yet again. All of the men put their guns down and stared in awe. It was like a Greek myth, the glowing sword and the wanted warrior. The front man didn't put his gun down.

"What the hell are you sissy's staring at? Start shooting!" he yelled. Their attention came off of the sword, and they all began firing shots at Kamui. All of them wasted their 8 shots within seconds. Kamui ducked underneath the bar. "A little more dangerous than I thought," Kamui said to the ducking with him bar owner.

The shots stopped, and Kamui heard a long hard moan. His head turned to the noise, but the bar was blocking his sight. "If its one of the men, I don't want to get shot," Kamui thought. He crawled around the end of the bar.

When he got there he noticed something. His aura had returned from before. Instantly he looked to the sword. "This thing is special, I know it," he thought.

"Come out from back there," demanded a voice. This voice was different from any of the bounty hunters. Kamui looked confused. He stood up. "Who are you to tell me?" asked Kamui, still glowing with the red aura. The floor was filled with dead bounty hunters, and the man was collecting his arrows from their chests. He fell back a few feet when seeing Kamui with the aura.

"Is it? Can it be? Kamui Shinobi?" asked the man. Kamui walked closer to him slowly. "You know Kamui, I have been waiting for this day since about two days ago," said the man. Kamui walked closer.
"What happened two days ago?" asked Kamui.

"That was when the bounty was put on your head," replied the man. Kamui shoved him to the floor with his arm and stuck his sword to his throat.

"So, you come to kill me just like the rest?" Kamui asked. The man would have laughed but the sword was so close to his throat that it would stab him if he did so. He signaled to Kamui to pull his sword back. Kamui did, just enough for him to talk. "No, not at all. I want to be an Allie of yours," said the man. Kamui looked at him confused, and put the glowing sword back in its sleeve. His aura disappeared.

A minute later Kamui was sitting at the bar buying the man a drink. "What's your name?" Kamui questioned. The man took a gulp of his rum.

"My name is Shin. I am a spirit fighter."

A grin came to Kamui's face. "Everybody's a spirit fighter these days," said Kamui as he gulped from his mug.

"You're a spirit fighter too?"

"Well, I'm starting to believe so, because my sword has been glowing and giving me this unbelievable power while doing so," said Kamui. "Now why do you want to be my ally?"

"Because I share the same fault as you," replied Shin.

"What are you talking about?"

"I also have a bounty on my head." Kamui's attention was all his. "I used to work for the emperor, but I was the lowest of the lowest workers. I barely got paid. You need to do what you need to do to survive, and I got caught stealing from him. Luckily for me I escaped him," said Shin. He took one last gulp of the rum, and it was gone.

"Do you use any weapons?" asked Kamui. "Nope, I just use Ki," said Shin. Kamui looked confused. "Ki? Man, aren't you the lucky one," responded Kamui.

"Well, if you truly have a spirit weapon, you should be able to use ki with it," replied Shin. Kamui gave Shin a 'that's cool, what's up' type of look, but on the inside he was filled with excitement. "A ki sword? This is the greatest spirit weapon ever," he declared.
A few minutes later, Kamui stood up. He stretched out as Shin finished his drink. "Well, Shin, lets get going," said Kamui. Shin looked to him in confusion.

"Go? Where are we going?" Shin asked. Kamui laughed. "We are going to kill the emperor," exclaimed Kamui. This drew amazement to the faces of Ace and Shin. "I just thought you were trying to survive. Now you want to die. Count me out," declared Shin.

Kamui looked to him in disappointment. "I'm not attempting to get myself killed; I am standing up for what is right," spoke Kamui.

"What movie did he steal that from?" Shin asked Ace. Kamui heard that and jumped. "This is serious. Chicken out if you want, but I'm going to find a live king and make him dead," spoke Kamui. The words were spoken so strongly that Shin could not back down. "I'm in," Shin accepted. They both looked to Ace.

"I have a bar to tend to. Count me out," spoke Ace. Both Kamui and Shin sighed long and hard. Then they were both out the door. "Whew, that was a close one," Ace said, sticking a cigarette in his mouth.

Kamui and Shin were nearing the palace. The village of Sonoi was a village in the country of Telai on the planet Shindonia. Ace's tavern was approximately forty miles away from the palace of Emperor Tomohito. In the two hours that Kamui and Shin traveled that night, they managed to travel eight miles.

Kamui was practicing his martial arts on a tree while Shin was pitching a tent for the two of them to sleep in. "Kamui, could you stop for a second and help me? Its not like you need martial arts when you have that weapon anyway," spoke Shin. Kamui stopped his training and looked to the sword. It had a very faint glow because it was not in use.

"OK, lets put us up a tent!" Kamui yelled dramatically. Shin laughed as Kamui took a stake in hand.

About two minutes later the tent was up. Kamui clapped his hands. "Now, its time for some sleep," he said. He was prepared to throw his body to the ground, crawl into the tent and sleep all night, but something caught his eye before doing so.

A shadowy figure less than one hundred yards away was walking towards the two of them. "What the hell is it Kamui?" asked Shin. Kamui stuck up his ring finger to silent Shin. The figure was a big person.
"I bet its another bounty hunter," said Kamui. He pulled the sword from its sleeve and was prepared for battle.

The man finally arrived at Kamui and Shins campsite. "Hello? Is anyone here?" asked the man. Kamui leaped from a low hanging solid tree branch onto the mans back. "I…just…needed directions," managed the man before Kamui's grip slammed him to the ground. Kamui got up off of him. He glanced at Shin. Shins face showed a look of disappointment. Kamui extended his hand to the man and giggled.

All three men sat around a campfire talking about their dark, mysterious pasts; at least everyone but Shin. "Well Jet, we're going to sleep, and your welcome to pitch a tent or whatever and travel with us," spoke Kamui. "Wait!" yelled Jet.

"What is it?" Kamui asked. He and shin both turned. A group of people stood behind Jet. "I may have lied about my past a little," spoke Jet. He let out a loud roar to follow. Kamui and Shin turned to the other direction. No go. There were men blocking it off. "Say goodbye to your lives gentlemen," said Jet. "Is this really the end? No, it can't end like this!" Kamui thought

Dirk Amoeba
01-29-2004, 10:25 AM
According to the rules, You should post each new chapter in a new thread. That way, we can better keep up with a fic. Also, you should post a warning if things are going to get graphivally violent, just so people know.

Once you do this, I'll be happy to review the fic.