My Own Comic : Students of Oblivion (Dueling Style)

[RockmanTemers Access]

Hi, I was wondering if I put up my comic if you like it. Enjoy. It's not cleaned yet, so hopefully you enjoy the black text. I only show those 2 pages of dueling that's it because sinces it's Yu-Gi-Oh!
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/RockmanRyuusei/01-23-2007091038PM.jpg


If it's not working, please tell me how to show you my comic
P.S If you want me to improved more, please give me a link so I can improved myself.
EDIT: I just found out it's not working, so I put it on photobucket instead.

[Senju]

I can only see the top half of the comic, the bottom half is all grey.

Its not bad so far, you still need to erase the pencil lines. The face-down card in the field looks wierd, its borders aren't quite even and in the correct perspective. I like how you drew the monster on the right of the picture, (I'm guessing its an E-Hero.)

The wierdest thing about the picture is Asuka ( I think that's her) in the foreground. Her head isn't positioned right with her body. Her body looks like shes slightly bent over, but her head doesn't match where the top of the "spinal chord" on her back should be. Her eye just doesn't seem right, it looks to me like its a bloodshot eye.

Overall, it looks OK though. I know first hand that making a comic book is a lot of hard work and takes a lot of time and frustration.

[RockmanTemers Access]

The picture you talking about it's not Tenjoin Asuka, that's my own character, Phoebe Andersen, she's wearing a cosplay of Asuka costume. You're right, I don't know how to draw her head right, I need some suggestion.

I'll fix the print as well.

[Johnny Five]

As a guy who also produces his own comics (the only one about Yu Gi Oh I've done is a one page story between Yugi and Megatron ... guess who wins), it does look pretty good. There are a lot of guides on how to draw manga out there, but if you position Phoebe's head more to the right it'll look better. Eyes are really a matter of style, and I thought that overall it's looking good. Keep practicing!

[Zandor12]

if you position Phoebe's head more to the right it'll look better.

Quoted for truth. As it is, her lead looks like it's growing out of her left shoulder. The rest of the page doesn't have any problems that I can see though.

[Ice wizard]

Very good (well besdies like the eye which is just style and the head like they pointed out) it was a very good 1 as if I was reading a real page of a manga (still trying to draw girls currently) I give you a 3.5/5

[Master K]

I think this has promise. I like the way you drew the charaters from behind. That's so hard for me to do.

[FallenDreams22]

(the only one about Yu Gi Oh I've done is a one page story between Yugi and Megatron ... guess who wins)

yugi?

on topic: this shows some promise... sure there are problems... but everything is fixable... although... i as well can only see half of a page and the bottom half is grey...

[Flames of a Phoenix]

As a guy who also produces his own comics (the only one about Yu Gi Oh I've done is a one page story between Yugi and Megatron ... guess who wins), it does look pretty good. There are a lot of guides on how to draw manga out there, but if you position Phoebe's head more to the right it'll look better. Eyes are really a matter of style, and I thought that overall it's looking good. Keep practicing!As a guy who is a second year art student, I'm disagreeing.

1. Come up with your own art style. Copying someone else's makes your work look bad.
2. Work on porportion and an understanding of the human body and general perspective. Without it, your work will look bad.
3. Work on flow and transitions of comics. It's an art form in itself and just throwing yourself into it will result in bad things.
4. Erase the pencil lines and clean things up. Make things look as neat and understandable as possible.

[Johnny Five]

yugi?



Transcript:

Yugi, duel disk at the ready: "It's time to duel!"

Megatron, fusion cannon at the ready: "DIEEE!!"

Yugi is particle dust.

[Mr. Kemp]

I thought so...

Cool comic.