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View Full Version : The Kehmon Region. Episode 1 - The Journey Begins


Serpent King
04-19-2004, 06:29 PM
It was a warm day, perhaps the warmest day ever, well, then again Lavaridge Town was always warm. You can't live in a town next to a Volcano and not be warm. Though most people liked that the town was always hot, there was always one oddball, this oddball went by the name of Derek.
Derek was a tall kid, he had untidy brown hair and deep blue eyes. Derek loved adventure, and hated being forced to stay in one town, he had once been to Fallabar Town, but he really did'nt think that was adventure. He stood outside his house and sighed, he threw a small ball against the side of his house, it hit the wall
and bounced back to him.

"Derek!"

Derek turned around, coming up the street was his two sisters, Flannery & Leeyah.
Leeyah was younger than Derek by three years, though she was only ten, most of the time she acted like she was only two, she always cried when she did'nt get her way. Flannery was seventeen, and unlike Leeyah, she acted older than she actually was.

"Wow, you should have went Derek, it was amazing." Said Leeyah, wiping some water with her towel. "If only there was'nt so many old people, I could have really enjoyed myself."

"Leeyah, old people are wise and, they might not show it, but are very powerful, look at grandpa, he's super old but he was an old Elite Four." Flannery smiled at her little sister.

"Yeah, sure. Hey, look, it's Pixie."

A small red Vulpix came running out the house. It ran up to Leeyah, she bent down, and Pixie jumped in her arm.

"That reminds me," Said Flannery, "Derek did you feed Camerupt."

"Oops, I forgot sis, i'll go take care of it now."

"Why bother, you'll just forget as soon as you enter the house, honestly, I really should have known better than to trust you, going to the hot springs was a bad idea, now I bet my poor Camerupt is dying of hunger."

"The way that thing eats, I really doubt it." Mumbled Derek.

"Wait, oh no, I left my towel back at the springs."

"Well, why don't I get it, It's the least I can do for not feeding Camerupt."

"Sure, why not. Did mom come back from the Pokemart yet?"

"No, alright, i'll go now."

Derek begin walking to the Hot Springs. Many people were outside, either tendering their gardens or playing with there Pokemon. Derek waved at everyone he saw. Derek knew almost everyone, he was always nice to them. After walking about fifteen minutes, he finnally saw the Pokemon Center. The entrance to the hot springs was just behind it. Derek walked in the Center, waved to Nurse Joy and exited through the back door.

Leeyah was'nt kidding, there was hundreds of old people. Many were in the Hot Springs, but some were sittting on the sand. Few, were actually buried in the sand. Derek spotted a dark red towel, with pictures of several Numel on it. Derek walked over there and grabbed it. He folded it and tucked it under his arm, he began walking back, suddenly he heard his name, Derek turned around, Mrs. Hanson was coming toward him with a small round thing in here hand. Mrs. Hanson, was the oldest lady in Lavaridge Town, Derek remembered when she used to babysit him.

Mrs. Hanson smiled at him. "Hello there Derek."

"Hello Mrs. Hanson."

"Derek, I would have thought you would have been on your Pokemon Journey."

"I should have ma'am, but my mother thinks I have'nt learn enough at the Pokemon Academy, plus I don't even have a pokemon, mother won't get another one because my sister already has a Vulpix."

"Well then, I have something that'll solve that, here you go."

Mrs. Hanson handed Derek the round thing, Derek looked at it. It was an egg.

"My husband left a pokemon at the daycare an when we came back we got an egg, we've had it for a while now, but we've decided to give it to someone."

"Thanks Mrs. Hanson." Derek wrapped the egg in Flannery's towel." Well iv'e got to go Mrs. Hanson, See you later."

Derek began running back home. Within minutes he arrived Home. He went inside and walked in the kitchen. His mom, Flannery & Leeyah were sitting around the table. Several stuff were on it.

"Hello there Derek." His Mom grinned. Derek weakly smiled back. "Well, come here." Derek walked up to here and kissed her on the cheek. "Alright then, here, these are for you." She gave Derek a bag. Derek looked inside. There were several Potions, Antidotes and Six Pokeballs. Derek did'nt know what to say. "Tomorrow, we go to slateport, you take the B ship and ---"

"Wait, mom what are you talking about."

Mom looked around at Flannery& Leeyah smilling.

"Iv'e just been to the pokemon academy at Rustboro, and your teacher has given you permission to begin your journey, tommorow, after you take the ship and arrive at the Kehmon region, Proffesor Cozo has agreed to give you a pokemon."

"But mum look, I don't need one."

Derek pulled out the egg from the towel.

Flannery shreiked."You wrapped that dirty thing with my towel, do you know how much scrubbing i'm going to have to do tonight, ugh, honestly Derek."

Derek ignored her but she continued talking. Mom cleared her throat. "So tommorow we wake up extra early and we go down to slateport, and you guys get off ship B and ---"

"What do you mean 'You Guys'"

"Well Derek, your sisters are going too."

Derek falls out his chair. "But what about the gym..."

"I'll take care of that, Flannery's leaving all her pokemon behind."

"Awww man."

Mom laughed, "You did'nt seriously think I was going to let you go alone." She stood up, "Alright Chop, Chop, everyone to bed, i'll take care of your bags, Derek I suggest putting that egg in the tub, fill it with hot water."

"Yes mum."

The next day Derek coul'dnt beileve it, after walking for hours to lateport, he, Leeyah & Flannery were waving good bye to Mom as the ship begin to slowly move. As Leeyah & Flannery played in the ship's pool, Derek leaned against barrier of the ship, watching the waves slowly moving up and down, he wuld occasionally see a Phindoll (New Pokemon) jump out of the water, and ack in again.

Finally he heard it, the captain's voice over the loud speaker, "We have arrived in Metagore Island, The Kehmon Region. Please take your belongings and exit the ship through the front door.

Derek was the first one out, his heart beating fast, as the egg which was in his bag pounded on his back, he smilled as he ran out the ship thinking about the adventures that awaited him in the Kehmon Region.

Cmoneyg7796
04-19-2004, 10:56 PM
Good chapter the only grammatical problem is your use of apostrophes('), for example you typed, did'nt and coul'dnt, the correct way is didn't and couldn't but other than that it's a pretty good start.

Clare
04-20-2004, 12:03 AM
This is quite well written despite the slightly screwed-up paragraphs. It seems to have a few journey fic elements, but at least it's not one of those fics which copy the first episode of the tv series. You know the deal? Kid wants to be a Pokemon Master but sleeps in on the day he is due to start his Pokemon journey. Then, when he does get to the lab, there's only one Pokemon left . . .

Note to other board members - don't dismiss stories with journey fic elements out of hand. They can work if the author puts his or her own twist on the theme and doesn't get too hung up on the protagonist's next Badge. Facsimiles of the tv series are an entirely different matter.

Coming back to this story, if you're going to invent your own Pokemon (like your Phindoll) try to describe what it looks like. Based on the name, I picture a dark blue dolphin-like Pokemon, but that might not be what you imagined.

HikotoriTaylor
04-20-2004, 07:20 AM
Every thing above from my fellow writers and this....

"Derek falls out his chair" It should be this. Derek fell out of his chair. Remember to always keepthings in past tense. Oh and remember to put descreption on almost everything like this: Derek fell out of his chair. It should be something like this(my opinion):Shocked so much by thss news , Derek was hurled out of his chair in suspense. It was great and i hope i helped!