Homer of Chaos
12-31-2005, 07:54 PM
Team Royal Nightmare vs. Team Jew-Gi-Oh
Team Royal Nightmare represented by Daryl Gessler (Dodger)
Team Jew-Gi-Oh represented by Jason Jadofsky (Jew-Gi-Oh), yes he is Jewish, just look at that last name.
Game 1
Jew-Gi-Oh with his deckmaster, Guardian Angel Joan, at his side elects to go first after winning the die roll with a 6 versus Dodger’s 2. Dodger with a ear bud in one ear and some System of a Down song playing watches as Jew-Gi-Oh opens with a set monster. Dodger top decks and set a magic/trap and a monster of his own. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Swords of Sealing Light revealing the face down Soul-Hunting Spirit. Play passes to Dodger and after some consideration sets another magic/trap. A turn burns off swords and Jew-Gi-Oh draws and passes. Dodger draws, adjusts his pants and passes. Another turn burns off swords and Jew-Gi-Oh sets a monster and passes. Dodger sets a magic/trap and ends. With swords now expired Jew-Gi-Oh sets a monster and ends. Dodger finally decides to go on the offensive and summons Goblin Ellite Attack Force and attacks Jew-Gi-Oh’s set Gear Golem the Moving Fortress, after turning goblins to defense Dodger is taunted by Jew-Gi-Oh’s statement of “see what happens when you mess with a jew” and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws, now with 7 cards in hand to Dodger’s 5, summons Magic Warrior Breaker and before anything can be broke Dodger’s Tidal Wave clears the field. Tidal Wave sends Jew-Gi-Oh’s Critter to the cemetery and he elects to pick Saint Magician from his deck and throws down the facedown and ends his turn. Dodger summons a Don Zaloog and attacks directly into a Claymore Mine. Dodger sets a magic and trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh, with a freshly top decked Don Zaloog, summons Donald and takes a shot at Dodger’s life points only to have it blown away by a Sakuretsu Armor. Dodger summons a D.D. Assailant and attacks directly only to have his attack blocked by a gang of scapegoats. After a minute of thinking Dodger decides to wipe away Pinky. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets one in each zone and ends. Dodger sets a monster and has D.D. Assailant **** the blue scapegoat. Jew-Gi-Oh, with a big grin on his face revealing his crooked teeth cause he is to poor to get braces, flip up Saint Magician and take back Swords of Sealing Light from his cemetery. Jew-Gi-Oh then tributes the Saint Magician for Testicles the Firestorm Monarch and Testy jerks Dodgers Pot of Advrice before falling into a Bottomless Pit Trap in which he is still falling. Dodger draws and flips his Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive and wipes away another of Jew-Gi-Oh’s Scapegoats. Dodger ends his turn with a set magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh top decks a Cyclone and blows away the set Cry of the Living Dead. Jew-Gi-Oh summons Different Dimension Lady and attempts to destroy the Dekoichi but is over come by a Sakuretsu Armor. Dodger wipes away the last Scapegoat and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and special summons a Cyber Dragon and plays a D.D. Assailant. DDA wipes out Dekoichi and Cyber Dragon hits home. Jew-Gi-Oh 8000, Dodger 5600. Dodger top decks a Black Hole out of his ass and the Dragon and DDA are sent into the abyss. Dodger sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Pot of Advrice and draws his 2 cards. A top decked Emissary of Obliteration stabs the set Magical Merchant and Different Dimension Lady hits the field followed up by a Early Burial bringing back Cyber Dragon. Both attacks hit directly dropping Dodger down to 2000. Dodger draws and plays Tempest, brings up Initiate Troops and blows away the DDWL, Early Burial revives a Don Zaloog and the Donald hits directly, and, after some showboating, discards Game Controller from Jew-Gi-Oh’s hand. Dodger ends his turn with a set magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh plays Sealing Swords of Light and throws down another facedown and ends. Dodger draws and Magic-Warrior Breaker and it’s engulfed by a Tidal Wave. Jew-Gi-Oh sets a magic/trap and ends. Dodger plays Calling Reinforcements to fetch a Don Zaloog, Cyclone eats the Sealing Swords of Life and Don hits home grabbing a Ice Emperor Mobius out of Jew-Gi-Oh’s hand reducing Jew-Gi-Oh to 4400. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets a monster. Dodger summons Critter and sends Donald into a set Soul-Hunting Spirit and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh’s draws and summons a Magic-Warrior Breaker and sends it in after Donald dropping Dodger to 2500. Dodger sets another monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh summons a Don Zaloog and sends Breaker after the Critter destroying it and Dodger pulls a Different Dimension Lady from his deck and Don wipes out the set Dekoichi. Dodger draws and sets to magic/traps and ends. Breaker breaks the set Sakuretsu Armor and attacks only to have Breaker flipped down by a Book of Moon and Donald hits home grabbing the top 2 cards of Dodgers deck. Dodger draws and sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws, and smiles revealing those god awful teeth again, summons Mystic Swordsman LV2 and Dodger grabs his deck and cemetery and starts to shuffle. Jew-Gi-Oh takes game one!
Jew-Gi-Oh takes a small phone break while a laser pointer blinds Dodger. Dodger decides to start and opens up with 2 set magic/traps. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Tempest hitting a Sakuretsu Armor and Bottomless Pit Trap. He then summons Sangan, takes Dodger down to 7000, throws down a face down and ends. Dodger special summons a Cyber Dragon only to have it destroyed by a Tidal Wave and Jew-Gi-Oh grabs a Dol Dora from his deck. Dodger then summons a Goblin Ellite Attack Force and takes Jew-Gi-Oh down to 5800. Jew-Gi-Oh top decks Initiate Troops and summons it to blow away the defence goblins. Early Burial pulls up Critter and attack directly putting Dodger at 6000. Dodger sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh tributes Critter for Ice Emperor Mobius, takes Different Dimension Lady from Critter and Mobius destroys the set Don Zaloog. Dodger draws, sets a monster and a magic/trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh summons Different Dimension Lady only to have it and the Mobius ***** by a Tidal Wave. Jew-Gi-Oh looks at the empty board and ends. Dodger draws and set a magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh summons the Dol Dora and hits directly putting Dodger at 4500. Dodger draws, sets a monster and with a distressed look ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and Black Hole eats the set Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive. Calling Reinforcements grabs a D.D. Assailant and it attacks directly putting Dodger at 2800. Jew-Gi-Oh sets a Claymore Mine only to have it blown away by a Cyclone in the end phase. Dodger draws and plays a Black Hole of his own and sets a magic/trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets a monster and ends. Dodger top decks a Emissary of Obliteration out of his ass, again, and Saint Magician bears the end of its sword. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and passes. Dodger draws and uses Early Burial to bring back Don Zaloog and attacks directly only to be blocked by Scapegoat. Dodger elects to destroy pinky and makes the comment that he is raciest against the pink people. Jew-Gi-Oh, out for revenge for pinky, plays Theft of Donald Trump and hits home putting Dodger down to 600 and he loses Claymore Mine and Pot of Advrice from the top of his deck. Dodger draws, gains a 1000 from Theft and plays Earth Crusher to wipe away the Don and sets a magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and summons Goblin Ellite Attack Force and he stands up announcing very loudly that the goblins will attack for game only to take a shot to the balls while he watches the goblins step into a Claymore Mine. Dodger draws, set the card and ends his turn. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and, with a wild flinging of his arms, summons D.D. Assailant and reduces Dodger to 0. Jew-Gi-Oh wins the match 2-0, and now we can all leave to get wasted on New Years Eve!
Fathead also told me to include the fact the Daryl likes tacos and he eats them everyday for lunch and dinner and he even had his brother’s bedroom turning into a Taco Bell. And yes there are plenty of toilets in the house.
Team Royal Nightmare represented by Daryl Gessler (Dodger)
Team Jew-Gi-Oh represented by Jason Jadofsky (Jew-Gi-Oh), yes he is Jewish, just look at that last name.
Game 1
Jew-Gi-Oh with his deckmaster, Guardian Angel Joan, at his side elects to go first after winning the die roll with a 6 versus Dodger’s 2. Dodger with a ear bud in one ear and some System of a Down song playing watches as Jew-Gi-Oh opens with a set monster. Dodger top decks and set a magic/trap and a monster of his own. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Swords of Sealing Light revealing the face down Soul-Hunting Spirit. Play passes to Dodger and after some consideration sets another magic/trap. A turn burns off swords and Jew-Gi-Oh draws and passes. Dodger draws, adjusts his pants and passes. Another turn burns off swords and Jew-Gi-Oh sets a monster and passes. Dodger sets a magic/trap and ends. With swords now expired Jew-Gi-Oh sets a monster and ends. Dodger finally decides to go on the offensive and summons Goblin Ellite Attack Force and attacks Jew-Gi-Oh’s set Gear Golem the Moving Fortress, after turning goblins to defense Dodger is taunted by Jew-Gi-Oh’s statement of “see what happens when you mess with a jew” and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws, now with 7 cards in hand to Dodger’s 5, summons Magic Warrior Breaker and before anything can be broke Dodger’s Tidal Wave clears the field. Tidal Wave sends Jew-Gi-Oh’s Critter to the cemetery and he elects to pick Saint Magician from his deck and throws down the facedown and ends his turn. Dodger summons a Don Zaloog and attacks directly into a Claymore Mine. Dodger sets a magic and trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh, with a freshly top decked Don Zaloog, summons Donald and takes a shot at Dodger’s life points only to have it blown away by a Sakuretsu Armor. Dodger summons a D.D. Assailant and attacks directly only to have his attack blocked by a gang of scapegoats. After a minute of thinking Dodger decides to wipe away Pinky. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets one in each zone and ends. Dodger sets a monster and has D.D. Assailant **** the blue scapegoat. Jew-Gi-Oh, with a big grin on his face revealing his crooked teeth cause he is to poor to get braces, flip up Saint Magician and take back Swords of Sealing Light from his cemetery. Jew-Gi-Oh then tributes the Saint Magician for Testicles the Firestorm Monarch and Testy jerks Dodgers Pot of Advrice before falling into a Bottomless Pit Trap in which he is still falling. Dodger draws and flips his Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive and wipes away another of Jew-Gi-Oh’s Scapegoats. Dodger ends his turn with a set magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh top decks a Cyclone and blows away the set Cry of the Living Dead. Jew-Gi-Oh summons Different Dimension Lady and attempts to destroy the Dekoichi but is over come by a Sakuretsu Armor. Dodger wipes away the last Scapegoat and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and special summons a Cyber Dragon and plays a D.D. Assailant. DDA wipes out Dekoichi and Cyber Dragon hits home. Jew-Gi-Oh 8000, Dodger 5600. Dodger top decks a Black Hole out of his ass and the Dragon and DDA are sent into the abyss. Dodger sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Pot of Advrice and draws his 2 cards. A top decked Emissary of Obliteration stabs the set Magical Merchant and Different Dimension Lady hits the field followed up by a Early Burial bringing back Cyber Dragon. Both attacks hit directly dropping Dodger down to 2000. Dodger draws and plays Tempest, brings up Initiate Troops and blows away the DDWL, Early Burial revives a Don Zaloog and the Donald hits directly, and, after some showboating, discards Game Controller from Jew-Gi-Oh’s hand. Dodger ends his turn with a set magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh plays Sealing Swords of Light and throws down another facedown and ends. Dodger draws and Magic-Warrior Breaker and it’s engulfed by a Tidal Wave. Jew-Gi-Oh sets a magic/trap and ends. Dodger plays Calling Reinforcements to fetch a Don Zaloog, Cyclone eats the Sealing Swords of Life and Don hits home grabbing a Ice Emperor Mobius out of Jew-Gi-Oh’s hand reducing Jew-Gi-Oh to 4400. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets a monster. Dodger summons Critter and sends Donald into a set Soul-Hunting Spirit and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh’s draws and summons a Magic-Warrior Breaker and sends it in after Donald dropping Dodger to 2500. Dodger sets another monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh summons a Don Zaloog and sends Breaker after the Critter destroying it and Dodger pulls a Different Dimension Lady from his deck and Don wipes out the set Dekoichi. Dodger draws and sets to magic/traps and ends. Breaker breaks the set Sakuretsu Armor and attacks only to have Breaker flipped down by a Book of Moon and Donald hits home grabbing the top 2 cards of Dodgers deck. Dodger draws and sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws, and smiles revealing those god awful teeth again, summons Mystic Swordsman LV2 and Dodger grabs his deck and cemetery and starts to shuffle. Jew-Gi-Oh takes game one!
Jew-Gi-Oh takes a small phone break while a laser pointer blinds Dodger. Dodger decides to start and opens up with 2 set magic/traps. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and plays Tempest hitting a Sakuretsu Armor and Bottomless Pit Trap. He then summons Sangan, takes Dodger down to 7000, throws down a face down and ends. Dodger special summons a Cyber Dragon only to have it destroyed by a Tidal Wave and Jew-Gi-Oh grabs a Dol Dora from his deck. Dodger then summons a Goblin Ellite Attack Force and takes Jew-Gi-Oh down to 5800. Jew-Gi-Oh top decks Initiate Troops and summons it to blow away the defence goblins. Early Burial pulls up Critter and attack directly putting Dodger at 6000. Dodger sets a monster and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh tributes Critter for Ice Emperor Mobius, takes Different Dimension Lady from Critter and Mobius destroys the set Don Zaloog. Dodger draws, sets a monster and a magic/trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh summons Different Dimension Lady only to have it and the Mobius ***** by a Tidal Wave. Jew-Gi-Oh looks at the empty board and ends. Dodger draws and set a magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh summons the Dol Dora and hits directly putting Dodger at 4500. Dodger draws, sets a monster and with a distressed look ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and Black Hole eats the set Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive. Calling Reinforcements grabs a D.D. Assailant and it attacks directly putting Dodger at 2800. Jew-Gi-Oh sets a Claymore Mine only to have it blown away by a Cyclone in the end phase. Dodger draws and plays a Black Hole of his own and sets a magic/trap and ends. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and sets a monster and ends. Dodger top decks a Emissary of Obliteration out of his ass, again, and Saint Magician bears the end of its sword. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and passes. Dodger draws and uses Early Burial to bring back Don Zaloog and attacks directly only to be blocked by Scapegoat. Dodger elects to destroy pinky and makes the comment that he is raciest against the pink people. Jew-Gi-Oh, out for revenge for pinky, plays Theft of Donald Trump and hits home putting Dodger down to 600 and he loses Claymore Mine and Pot of Advrice from the top of his deck. Dodger draws, gains a 1000 from Theft and plays Earth Crusher to wipe away the Don and sets a magic/trap. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and summons Goblin Ellite Attack Force and he stands up announcing very loudly that the goblins will attack for game only to take a shot to the balls while he watches the goblins step into a Claymore Mine. Dodger draws, set the card and ends his turn. Jew-Gi-Oh draws and, with a wild flinging of his arms, summons D.D. Assailant and reduces Dodger to 0. Jew-Gi-Oh wins the match 2-0, and now we can all leave to get wasted on New Years Eve!
Fathead also told me to include the fact the Daryl likes tacos and he eats them everyday for lunch and dinner and he even had his brother’s bedroom turning into a Taco Bell. And yes there are plenty of toilets in the house.